It's Over!

2012 is over!! I can't believe how happy and relieved I am to see this year finally behind us. I didn't realize what a milestone that would be until it actually happened.

Any year you lose a child is the worst year of your life. Sean passed away over 9 months ago. It's hard to believe. It still feels like something that happened in a different lifetime. When I think back to all we went through, I am overwhelmed.

I have often felt we've lived 5 years within the past year. 2012 truly went by very slowly for me and so much happened. It's mind boggling.

I am not going to write off 2012 as a total waste, failure, disappointment or nightmare. I am glad it's over but I am also grateful for all that the Lord has taught me through the most difficult time of my entire life.

I'm starting 2013 as a new person for sure. I don't feel much need to make New Year's resolutions this year. My hope and prayer for 2013 is that our family will continue to rejoice and be glad in each day the Lord has made and given us to enjoy here together. That we'll keep leaning on God each step of the way, trusting in Him.

One day soon I hope I can articulate some of the important lessons God has taught me through grief. I just have to find a way to put it all into words without writing a novel. :)

I will say this: I am closer to God than ever before. I feel more trust and peace than ever before. Through deep study, prayer, tears and counsel, I have so much more understanding. I'm so thankful that God brought beauty out of ashes. Every day I am so blessed that my hope is in Christ Jesus.

I praise God and give Him all the glory for beginning a new year with hope, joy, and peace! Some years it's just another year again...a clean slate to start over with diet and exercise and other goals. This year it just feels so much deeper to me.

We have a bible verse for this year. A reminder for 2013 that keeps me hopeful:

"Yet I am confident that I will see the Lord's goodness while I am here in the land of the living.

Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. "

Psalm 27:13-14

Happy New Year everyone!!!