Harvey

I think everyone knows that we lost our cat Harvey a few weeks ago. He got very ill, very quickly. In a matter of just 3 days, he was beyond help and our vet agreed that putting him down would be best.

It was an awful thing to have to do. Like people, we'd prefer our pets to die peacefully of old age in their sleep. Harvey was only 7 years old and in a great deal of pain when he died. The vet had to give him 3 dosages of pain killer just to keep him semi-comfortable until we arrived.

We brought Connor with us. I'm not sure most people would agree with that decision, but looking back we know it was a good thing. His reaction to what was happening wasn't fear or trauma. He was very serious, very solemn. Nick and I both cried (well, I was sobbing). This is one of the few instances that I think it is healthy to show your emotions to your kids. We were all together, crying and holding each other and petting Harvey and holding him as he left us. I doubt it was very scary for Connor; it was sad but peaceful in the end and there was comfort in that we were all together.

It's been too difficult to blog about or talk about since. I am sad, but I have to move on and keep my emotions in check for Connor. Death is a part of life. We felt it was important that after our time of grief together, we spoke of Harvey in happier times and refer to him as being in heaven. When Josie yowled in distress, looking for Harvey for days afterwards, we explained honestly that Josie missed Harvey. We all did.

I had to make our Christmas card/letter/picture/address labels this year. It made me incredibly sad to omit Harvey. He wasn't in the pictures because that was physically impossible, but I could not bring myself to leave him off of anything else. To me, he is still too much a part of the family.

Harvey spent most of the last two years sleeping and hiding out in our bedroom. He seemed rather content, but he's been sick for years and on medication. I knew his quality of life wasn't fantastic. I think his happiest times were when Nick and I retired for the evening and he laid on us, purring loudly.

Because he was so often hiding out, most of our daily life feels the same with Harvey gone. It wasn't until I had to feed Josie the first day that Harvey was gone that it hit me really hard. The cats' food dish is a double dish they shared. I could not bring myself to fill one side and leave the other empty. I put away the double dish and started giving Josie her meals in a single bowl. Even weeks later, it is hard on me feeding one cat when for so many years it was the two of them.

Looking back, one of my fondest memories of Harvey is of how he became part of our family. I bet most people don't know this story. When Nick and I were engaged and he was in Iraq, I lived with my cousin Josh. One day Josh brought home baby Harvey. He belonged to Josh, but we all loved him. A month later, Nick came home on R&R leave for 2 weeks. He spent a lot of that time at our house and from the day he arrived, Harvey was attached to Nick. He loved Nick so much! I have so many pictures of a young, very skinny Army guy and a tiny black and white kitten curled up together. Harvey on Nick's shoulders, in Nick's lap, snuggled under Nick's neck. I love those pictures and really need to scan them onto the computer sometime. They make me smile and cry at the same time. What a funny cat, living with 4 people plus a visiting baby Hailey and his favorite human was a soldier just visiting from Iraq! :)

Eventually, as we prepared to be married and move into our own place, Josh let us have Harvey and Nick and Harvey have always been close. Poor Nick was really devastated to lose Harvey. But we are both thankful for the years we had him. He was a funny, sweet cat who always purred.

We all know we'll lose what we love at some point--both people and pets! Frankly, I feel incredibly lucky and blessed that I lived 32 years before being forced to put a beloved pet to sleep.

These days, our remaining cat Josie is much more affectionate and social. We are enjoying her and appreciating her more. Some nights, as Josie snuggles near me in bed and purrs in my ear, I pet her soft fur and thank God for the simple pleasure of having a loving pet who is always here for me. I don't know what we'll do the day there aren't any cats keeping our feet warm in bed each night. That day may never come because I doubt we'll ever live without a cat in the house. To not wake up to whiskers and purrs each day is unthinkable.

We really miss you Harvey...